Strange Dream (About a Girl)

Well, It is hard to explain but this dream is a bit strange to me. It happened last night, but now, a broken memory is left in my mind. I dont know if i still remember clearly, but it is better to jot it down here, so it wont be forgotten.

I was dreaming about a friend of mine, who was a girl. The strange thing was that this friendship was 11 years ago. i knew her when i was in 7th grade of Vietnam, and never actually put any real thought about anything. I talked to her every now and then, but it was not a serious talk, nor any kind of relationship talk. I was just talking to her normally as two old friends recollecting old memories that were fading away.

The dream setting was completely strange. It took place in Vietnam, assuming i revisited my country during a trip in my dream. She and I was like so close, very very close. And if I still remember it correctly, i had some feeling for her. How? I dont really know nor could I explain the reason behind this dream, but i was very happy around her.

People says dreams come from your deep deep desire for something that you couldnt get in real life. Was it true? Was it true that deep deep inside my heart, i like her so much that i have to dream about her? Strange, why could i dream about her a few years back, or maybe when we were just apart? Or could it be that our recent talk as ‘anh and em’ left some remark in my mind that affect my dreaming? Could it be that i was so lonely recently that i desire some feeling? Or could it be a sign of something coming? It could be anything. If i would have just sit here and reason, it could potentially be any possible reason on earth. The thing is, i dont know, and i dont think i can find out the true message.

A few months back, i awesome dream about another girl. That time wasnt a happy dream for me. I dream about the girl i disliked the most in 7th grade. She is the cause of me getting hit 3 times in the button together with my other friends. i didnt completely hate her because to be honest, it wasnt her fault or my fault in creating that misunderstanding between us two. She might not even aware of the dislike that i have on her, or she could have already forgotten the event. But i could not forget. It wasnt because of the grudge i have on her, nor i was a mean person in remember everything happening. It was just something in my life that made a deep deep mark in my brain, and forced my brain the remember the event as clearly as the clear blue sky.

We all understood that some event could cause an explosion in our heart, a dark image in our brand, or emotionally tear our feeling that make us remember it forever. There are some other events, sad or happy, that couldnt even stick in our endless memory. We could forget general details even right after it had happened.

Well, i just want to explain the reason behind memories and the significances of them. But overall, friends are also my best assets. Even if i cant ask them for anything, or even if they are just my old old friends that they could have forgotten me already, they are still a part of my history, of who i was with, of why i am here today.

Let’s go back to my strange dream. Yeah, i was talking to her lately, and still have a lot of confusions and secrets that i want to find out, but if i am to say i like her enough to the point that i dream about her, that is really weird, because i never have any intention whatsoever to move our relationship anything more than friendship.

It could be that we are now old friends, old old friends, and it is ok to remember about your old friends who are apart. Or maybe i was dreaming alot about other people, things and places, but couldnt remember after awoken? It could be one of those endless possibilities. But anyway, it was fine for me. Let’s see if i have any other strange dreams. I really want to have the power to control my dream 🙂

Không cần cái tựa làm gì (Số Báo danh 4)

Thế là thế nào. Bắt đầu sao đây ta, chả biết nhưng thui kệ viết theo cảm xúc. 🙂

Lâu rùi ko viết tiếng việt nhiều, nên nếu có viết sai chính tả, hay câu văn lủng củng, xin cáo lỗi cùng người nhận. Văn vẻ không hay, có thể sẽ gây sự hiểu lầm, cũng xin thông cảm nốt.

Thiệt tình là bấy lâu nay, bạn bè không nhiều, mà bạn mà hiểu được mình hình như cũng không đếm được mấy. Có nhiều chuyện xảy ra ngoài tầm kiểm soát của mình, mà mình thì cũng không định chối bỏ trách nhiệm của mình, nên thui ko than ca mấy cái thứ này làm gì. Dù sao thì cũng đã xảy ra rùi, có đem lên xào bới, gào thét, thì sóng gió cũng đã qua, tàn phá cũng đã tàn phá.

Tình bạn bè, mình vẫn tôn trọng bấy lâu nay. Cho dù bạn có nghĩ như thế nào, thì bạn bè ngần ấy năm, có chối bỏ chắc cũng ko dễ dàng. cũng đã có người khuyên mình, nói là bạn bè ngần ấy năm, mà chưa hiểu nhau, còn đủ thứ chuyện như thế này thì xem xét lại. Nhưng mình thiết nghĩ, bỏ làm sao được, ngần ấy năm chứ có phải vài ba ngày làm wen qua loa đâu. Bỏ rùi thì hóa ra bạn bè nó dễ dàng bỏ bê thế cơ đấy.

Không cần nói chắc ai cũng phải đồng ý là mình không phải 1 người tinh tế trong việc giao tiệp. Vì thế nên nhiều khi có nhiều thứ xảy ra, mình không tài nào nhớ hết được. Hay nhiều khi nói đó, rùi quên đó, rùi lại hỏi đó. hỏi xong rùi lại vẫn ko nhớ. Chắc ai nhìn vào cũng sẽ phán, sao vô tâm thế. Vô tâm hay để tâm rùi sao nào? MÌnh sống sao thấy thoải mái là được rùi, cần gì phải rập khuôn sống theo cách suy nghĩ của người khác nhỉ? Bộ thân nhau là phải để ý chi li từng ly từng tý, coi xem đối phương cần gì? và mình hiểu gì? NẾu làm được như vậy thì cũng tốt, nhưng hình như trong mình không có làm được như vậy. Hình như mình không thể nào ép mình làm thứ mà mình không muốn được. Bộ sống vì bản thân mình nó khó thế sao ta?

Tri kỉ với nhau có cái thước nào đo ko ta? có cần phải có công thức kiểm tra xem người ta tri kỉ đến mức nào không? mình thấy bạn quá khắt khe trong vấn đề định nghĩa tri kỉ. đâu phải muốn tri kỉ là phải hiểu nhau 100% và phải làm thứ mà người kia muốn và thích? Bộ trái nghịch nhau không làm tri kỉ được hả ta? THiệt sự mình cũng chưa từng nghĩ là sẽ làm tri kỉ của ai, chỉ đơn thuần là mình mún có 1 người bạn, vui vẻ nói chuyện với nhau, không lo lắng gì, không cần phải bị gò bó gì. Nhưng hình như càng ngày, mình cảm thấy có 1 cái gì đó vô hình đang gò ép bạn và mình rập khuôn theo 1 cái tình bạn nó đã được lên khuôn trước, là phải làm điều này, điều kia, phải suy nghĩ thế này, hành động thế nọ thì mới được coi là tri kỉ.

Sự quan tâm nhau không phải cứ nói là được. Cái này ai cũng hiểu. MÌnh không phủ nhận quan điểm này. Nhưng mà sự quan tâm của mình không có được phong phú như người ta, nó có hơi thô thiển, và hơi kín tiếng 1 chút. Tính mình không có thích phô trương, cũng chả ham tạo xì căng đan gì hết, nên nhiều khi quan tâm không nhất định là phải theo 1 cái công thức nào. Bạn bè với nhau có cần phải làm nghi thức kết bạn không ta? có cần phải lòe xòe khoe khoang không? hình như chỉ cần vui vẻ, hòa đồng là vui rùi nhỉ. Nhưng mà thôi, bạn có coi mình là bạn hay không, cũng không quan trọng. Không phải là không quan tâm, không thèm để ý, hay là coi thường bạn, chỉ là mình vẫn biết trước giờ tình bạn chúng ta không thay đổi là được rùi.

Mình biết cho dù mình có giải thích đến mấy ngàn trang giấy, thì “một lần thất tín là vạn lần thất tin”. Giấy đã lem rùi thì có chùi cũng không sạch. Biết sao giờ, bấy lâu nay mình suy nghĩ đơn giản quá, mình cứ nghĩ là miễn vui vẻ là được, miển sao hai bên thoải mái, nc, hòa đồng là đủ. Mình cứ nghĩ bấy nhiêu là đủ. Mình đều có thể làm những thứ mà những người khác làm, nhưng mình lại cảm thấy những cái việc đó nó có “một-chút-lố” và cả “một-đống-giả-tạo”. Mình cảm thấy nếu mình làm như vậy là không sống thật với chính tính tình của mình, nếu tự gượng ép mình bày tỏ sự quan tâm đến ai đó, mà chỉ đơn thuần muốn làm người đó vui, để người đó ko rời khỏi mình, mà không có một chút thành ý nào, thì mình sẽ không làm được.

Tiểu thuyết nào cũng có kì kết. Tiệc nào cũng có hồi tàn. Nhưng bạn bè đâu nhất thiết phải nghỉ chơi nhau như vậy. Mình thiệt không dám van xin ai ban cho đặc quyền làm bạn với người ta, cũng chả dám hứa hẹn là sẽ thay đổi gì. Vì mình hiểu tính tình của mình, có hứa rùi cũng sẻ chả làm được. Hứa làm gì để rùi người ta lại nói mình là kẻ “không giữ lời hứa”. Có nhất thiết mình phải đào bới tất cả mọi thứ lên, để rùi khi nhìn lại, mọi người sứt mẻ, và thù nhau không thèm nhìn mặt? Bộ sau ngần ấy năm, bao ngần ấy sóng gió, bạn bè vẫn không thể rộng lòng tí được sao ta? kì hén.

Hành động của mình thì nhiều khi thiệt hơi lạ. Chưa chắc là vì mình coi trọng đám bạn này hơn đám bạn kia. BỘ cứ ko chơi với bên này mà đi với bên kia là khinh bạn à? suy nghĩ bạn eo hẹp thiệt. Mình chưa bao giờ suy nghĩ như vậy với bạn nhé. Cho dù có nói ra trách móc cũng chỉ là đùa vui vẻ tí thui, chứ ai cũng phải có bạn bè mới, cũng có nhóm bạn riêng mà trong nhóm đó, có nhiều yếu tố không nên trộn chung, cũng như ko nên cố gắng ghép hai nhóm chơi chung. đã bao nhiêu lần mình cố ghép nhóm chơi chung rùi, có khi nào thành công không. không có chuyện thì cũng sẽ xãy ra vấn đề.

Bạn thử hỏi lại chính mình đi, cho dù mình có đi chơi, bạn sẽ vui vẻ nc với mọi người chứ, hay đó cũng chỉ là cái cớ để bạn trách móc mình. Bạn than phiền là mình không thèm nc với bạn, để bạn bơ vơ 1 góc không quan tâm. Nhưng tại sao bạn lại không hòa đồng với mọi người khác. BẠn biết là mình đã rất khó khăn khi phải giải quyết 1 nhóm bạn đi chơi chung, mà trong cái nhóm cỏn con đó đã có không biết bao nhiêu là nhóm nhỏ chia rẽ. Tại sao ta không cứ là hồn nhiên và thoải mái như cái thời xưa. CỨ phải hận thù nhau làm cái gì ta?

Mình chúa ghét cái kiểu phân bạn theo thứ tự, nhất nhìn ba tư. Trước giờ bạn là bạn của mình, thì mấy bạn khác cũng là bạn của mình. Mình chỉ có phân biệt gia đình riêng với bạn bè thui, chứ không có cấp 1 số thứ tự cho từng người bạn riêng. tại mình nghĩ, đã là bạn vơi nhau rùi, thì mắc gì phải coi nặng người này, coi nhẹ người kia? để làm gì cơ chứ? thân thì ta nc thêm 1 tí, không thân thì ta nói ít đi 1 tí. Có chết thằng nào đâu ta? MÌnh biết ta cũng nên phân biệt bạn thân với bạn không thân. Thì sự thân với ko thân cũng đã được phân định rùi mà. Bạn thân của mình thì đã ở xung quanh mình rồi mà. CHơi với nhau thì hy sinh qua lại, 1 sự nhịn là 9 sự lành mà. Yêu thương gắn bó tí với nhau, mắc chi phải so đo tính toán ai thân hơn ai? Vậy đâu có đặng.

NÓi thế thui chứ chuyện đã xãy ra rùi. mình cũng chỉ mong được thoải mái tâm tư, đi chơi không phiền muộn thui. Chắc sự đòi hỏi này hơi to tát. Chứ cái kiểu đi chơi mà mạnh ai nấy chơi, thân ai nấy giữ thì thiệt là khổ thân lém. Nên thế nhiều khi mình hành xử như 1 đứa con nít, gây trò cười cho thiên hạ, làm cho ai cũng nghĩ mình là một thằng điên, vốn cũng chỉ là muốn tạo ra tiếng ồn, để mọi người đừng quá lạnh lùng, đừng có coi trọng hóa cái tôi của mình quý. Cứ hòa đồng vào mà chém gió thui, lo nghĩ làm gì. Bạn bè ở đây để giải trí và xả stress, chứ có phải để kiếm thêm gánh nặng để gánh đâu nào.

Giải quyết như vậy thiệt là ko ổn thỏa chút nào, chắc cũng chả làm bạn an lòng hay thoải mái chút nào, nhưng cũng chỉ nói ra vài quan điểm sống của mình thui. Biết là thế, nhưng người ta bảo “yêu nhau lắm cắn nhau đau mà” Thân lắm thì cũng sẽ có chuyện thui. Quan trọng là xong chuyện rùi có ai hiểu ai không. CÓ còn thân thiết khắng khít như xưa không thôi.

Thôi không viết nữa, kẻo bàn dân thiên hạ nó ném gạch đá chửi rủa thì chết. Viết nhiều thế chắc cũng trau dồi lại được 1 phần tiếng việt tưởng chừng đã mất của mình. 🙂

Good Bye Friend…

Well, it is true. The long time is gone. You might sense it. I sense it too.

Yeah, you complain i have changed. But did you take a look at yourself too? You have changed quite a lot also, not just me. We were friends. Yes we were. We had fun, we partied. But any party would have come to an end. We all know, when we find the significant one in our life, our life would change totally. We have foresee it.

You changed quite a lot since the time you found your significant one. And i had changed to. I feel less comfortable around you. Not because i feel jealous of your relationship. I am totally happy for you and your significant one. I really feel happy for you. Finally you found your other half. You can finally enjoy your emotion. You finally have someone to take care for you, someone for you to take care of.

But i changed too. I dont want to be around you too much. It is really weird to hang around friends when they are in love. I dont know if this is normal to other people, to you, and to the rest of the world, but it is not normal for me. Usually i never want to interrupt people life, not at all.  so when they are busy with their life, i usually get a way from them, and let them enjoy the moment. I dont want to get in and be nosy. Also, you already have some one, why would i come in and interrupt this special moment. It is not really cool, it is not very wise.

What would that person think, if i am still hanging around you like best friends used to be? Yeah, you would argue that it is normal, that friends are forever. Yeah, friends are forever. But it does mean they are with each other forever. We need some private moment too. We are of different genders. it is not wise for me to hang around you and your significant one. What would that person think? i dont care how many time you say it is normal. That your significant ones would be ok. That the person wound mind, and that person would accept our friendship as it was, now, and in the future. But did anyone tell you that human are selfish? they dont have the tendency to share things they love, nor the things that are valuable to them. Just because a person says he/she is ok with sharing, doesnt really mean he/she is really ok. how would you feel if your significant ones spend the time for other important people more than spending time with you? you might say you are ok with it. I dont know. But logic is logic, just because you are ok, doesnt really mean it is ok. I just have to take to wise consideration to protect everything. Just to be safe.

I also dont feel really comfortable hangout with you, your significant one, and the rest of the group, when you totally ignore the whole group. You might not mean to do it, i totally understand. You might not know about it, or just might not even have feeling about it. But it is true. Friends around you dont feel comfortable going out as a group. They seems to feel uncomfortable going our with your couple in particular. But it is ok, i can totally understand. You need to take care for your other ones, you cannot leave that person alone, it is not right. Totally. You chose a very correct choice.

Well, it is ok. We might not gonna be as normal as before, but we are still friends. we are still going to hang out, just not as comfortable as before, or as often as before. The would and always will be an invisible barrier between us now. It is normal. When make an relationship with someone else, we are actually direct our history into another path. You can no longer keep everything the same.

Dont get me wrong. We are still friends. Just not the same kind of friending like before. Think about it. This happen to you before. You have suffered this same situation before when suddenly your friend turn into another path, that no longer in the same direction with you. And ask yourself, are you and that person the same as you two were used to be? of course not.

Now it is just dating, things already get to this level. Imagine later, when everyone has family, with husband/wife to take care of, and kids to watch out for. How awkward would that become?

It is ok. Hope you always enjoy what every you have. Friends forever.

Friends? What have happened?

My friends, this time periods has so many troubles. Seeing them suffering and loosing their grip doesn’t really me feel happy. I just want to record something here in hope that once everything over, they can look back and at least see how much they have grown during the time.

First, is my friend named B. He used to be a not well-behaved boy of the time. He was fun and energetic for his age, and thoughtless about his action. He didnt really care much on what he says, does, or thinks. He was always put his effort in the wrong things. He went to school without a consideration to study well. He went to school for funs. After many times talking to him, I didn’t seem to see his reason for studying well. He used to tell me his favorite is cooking. He wanted to cook his favorite foods. To cook and make the good sushi is his only interest and strongest skills at the time being. I was also not a very good friend. I wasn’t a strong influence to talk him into studying. I always thought that if a person doesn’t have a strong desire to studying, forcing him against his wills will only cause a negative result. So, i used to say, “Do what you like, It wouldn’t be that bad.”

So he kept slacking off. I thought for a moment that he is ok, he will be doing well with the cooking and own a restaurant and be a rich owner later. Well, it was just my thought.

Suddenly, he became more serious into studying. There was a cause to that. He fell in love in a relationship that seems to be impossible. The other party doesn’t seem to accept his heart. He wanted to change, to become a different person. He studied more seriously, became a more serious person, and responsible more for his actions. He changed completely. It was a good start to him. I think he has seen the important of studying, of having a degree. He found his path in life to follow. I was happy for him.

His other party doesn’t seem so satisfy. That person seems his changes as good enough for the approval. Maybe he can senses it, he study even harder and harder. Well, it is good for him. Looking at him now, no one would think he used to be such a slacker a few years back. They would see a person that has a destined goal to achieve, a responsible person someone can depend on. But would that other party see it? Maybe she does, maybe she can see and feel it, but due to the human tendency not feeling satisfy on what they currently have, she wanted more from him. Maybe he has to be such a hypocrite doctor, engineer, or even CEO of such her dream. Maybe one day when he can show his white blouse as a doctor, or his hairless head as an engineer then she might feel satisfy enough to say ok to him. So only education degree can prove your true love to one person? So he has to prove he can study as hard and as good as other people to show that he truly love a person? Understandable that we need to change to show our love, but why the other party have give such a challenge? I understand this is just to push him study harder and become better, it also help him to get better grade and become a better. He has given up so much for what? That person he likes (maybe loves) always puts him in such a situation that i feel as those he is worthless, not even worth anything for her consideration. Is it a good thing to do?

I don’t want to blame anything on anyone. But if you have push and challenge a person so hard, wouldn’t it fair to at least give them something to hope for? or maybe give them something to feel proud for what they have done? Don’t give any incentives for something we did will eventually kills the wills in a person to do better. They will once again lost their hope, and give up entirely.

Does love really have that much power to change people? In this story, it was a good cause. It helps a friend of mine to see the world in a different sense and become a more responsible person.

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The next story is dedicated for another one name M. Well, this person is weird

 

My Graduate School

Well, I am officially a graduate student here in UNCCharlotte. I was influenced by one of the professor here who has helped me during my senior design project dealing with Shuttle Bus Tracking System. He showed me the importance of having a master degree in the Engineering now. Well, so I signed up for the program and got the acceptance.

Then we started on the Researching dealing with Body Area Networking. I was happy to have something to do over the summer, even though it was an unpaid job. We at least has the prototype working now. The prototype mimics a very simple, but well defined protocol for node connection and sending data. The coding was done in C using the Arduino open-source platform. It is a very good project to work on.

I was pretty happy to be in the program and take some class. Right now is October approaching November. I believe my time in the ECE department is pretty long. Hahaha, almost 5 years in this program. 4 Years as undergraduate student and half year as the graduate student. I feel good, even though a little bit sad for not getting any job.

It is strange that when i was still a senior student in the CompE undergrad student; i wasn’t really interested in getting job. I still feel like studying and not sitting in the office working. But now, after see all my friends gone for the working world, and seeing myself sitting in class doing nothing but study, i feel different. I feel more like to work now. Well, i guess my mind changes. Well, I’ll keep an eye on the job posts to see if i could get anything in the mean time while completing my degree as a master student in the electrical engineering.

During the summer time, i was being interviewed twice from Duke Energy and Well Fargo.

Well Fargo happened first. It was a fun experience. I was called and phone interviewed with some basic get-to-know questions. Yeah, they are basic, and they gave me a false sense of how hard getting the job would be. I knew it was the first round into the interview process, and yeah, i wasn’t aware of the technical part coming right after this process. They called me in for a in-person interview. It was a fun experience because i get the chance to talk to their employee, the one who interview me. He was kind, as he was my uncle’s friend. He asked me a few questions about Java programming in which i mostly have no clues of the answers. It was alright. I wasn’t really a Java-ready dev anyway. I thought they would provide some trainings to newbies like me. Unfortunately, they are looking for experienced Java dev to carry on their assignments in their company. I can understand. So after the interview, i knew by heart that i wasn’t a match candidate for their position. It was fun to be interviewed. I gain  experiences during these times. Well, good lesson to learn.

Second interview is performed by Duke Energy looking for ITA. Reading the description makes me feel like a good candidate. I got called to setup an interview and was happy to take the chance. The interview went smooth with me talking about myself, my life in america, and my classes in UNCC. I get the chance to understand about the whole Duke Corporation. They are big and challenging. I was taking to lunch with the interviewer. They are nice, but I didnt really know how to get into the conversation with the group, i feel left out. Or maybe their purpose was to see how the candidate performs during this eating time, formally and informally. Well, i figured out after the interview that i wasnt really an outspoken person. Well, another of my weakness.

A Strange Strange Dream

Well, my dream was very weird. Here is the story.

I founded myself in Vietnam, right in my village. Well, I think I was back to Vietnam for a permanent stay. The place was still the same as what it was when I was still there. But the strange thing is that my new house is not of my old location. I was living in another house in the village, a few houses away from my old house. The one I called “Home” in my dream was the house of my neighbor who I knew.

This had always happened every time I dreamed about going back to Vietnam. But this one was a little bit different. I walked to my grandmother’s house, which locate right beside my house. My house was surrounded by a closed brick wall that only could be accessed if we happened to climb over it, about 3 meters tall.

I walked into my grandmother’s house, which is now belonged to my too youngest uncles. The strange thing was they were married. They both lived together in the same house, each use a different bedroom that they had been staying since I was still there. It was still their old house, the one that I recognized.

I guess my memory had not been updated with their new houses yet, so I was still custom to the old house. My grandmother wasn’t around. I guess my mind had accepted that my grandmother had passed away, a few years back.

Well, I walked into the my grandmother’s old house, seeing my second youngest uncle. He was using his old sewing machine, the exact same way I had seen in the past. He still had his big glass closet that about 1 meter tall. He used this big glass closet as his table for cutting and fixing customers’ clothes.

He saw me and I said “Hi uncle.” He responded with a big smile, very similar to how he always greeted me before. Well, his face didn’t show any sign of surprise. This meant my appearance in here seems normal for him. So I guess he didn’t know about me living in USA for so long. I was still a normal little boy who live there for my whole life.

I walked to the dark and not-so-clean kitchen right behind the living room, which my second youngest uncle uses as his working place. I saw my youngest uncle there. He was eating or cleaning the green vegetables. I couldn’t really tell because it was too dark.

To his left side, close to the homemade on-the-ground sink sat his wife. This was the very first time I saw her. I didn’t met her once ever. She had just married to my youngest uncle, but I never saw her before, not even a picture. I didn’t know how did I manage to saw her in my dream.

Everything is vivid to me. The kitchen was still the same way with the same table sitting in the same corner as I remember. I guess my memory hadn’t really faded away.

I said “Hello Aunt” to my aunt as soon as I recognized her appearance in the room. She seemed not hearing what I said or simply not responding at all.

Suddenly, I was right on top of the tall brick wall that separated my grandmother house and my real house. Looking to my house, without really going into the property, I remembered talking to my uncle. He showed me how bad the house had became. Looking at it, I saw the whole yard and garden were filled with grass. Those tall and ugly grass that signifies an abandoned house for a long time. The house seemed to be in the process of broken down. I didn’t know why I didn’t jump down to go into the house. In the dream, I knew it was my house. I knew I didn’t expect to see the house in such condition, but it was right there.

I felt such a terrible feeling. I felt like the house, which raised me up in 12 years, was dying. I was loosing every bit of itself like house my memory is fading out bit after bit. The ground which I used to play “lò cò”, “bắn bi” and building houses from the brick my father had on the side of house was no where to be seen from those ugly and cruel grass that covered all my memory.

Right at that point, was I interrupted and couldn’t remember anything. Maybe I had gone even more and dream about more things, but my head refused to record anything. Or maybe it was done. 

People says dreams come as what we wanted to see. Would it be? 

Today is the 6th of April

Yeah, today is the 6th of April. I am sick right now. I fell so tired. I have a running nose now. It is so so not feeling good. Hahah

Well, what to say? I don’t know. But I guess I am doing fine. The senior project I am working on is postponed now. No parts is coming in yet; therefore, I need to stop a little bit and wait. We still gotta come up with some protocols to deliver data from one place to another.

Well, not about school anymore.

Planning for the trip now. The beach trip with my other friends. I wish I could be like them. Not caring about anything. Well, maybe they do, I don’t know. But it seems like they saying the same thing over and over again. Well, doesn’t want to say anything. I hope they at least share with me. Somehow. But it is ok, if everyone is happy, I am happy too.

Getting older might be good. Hahaha. I don’t know. The idea of getting older just flash through my mind. Well, I feel like I am older physically, but not mentally. hahaha, it is weird. Well, many people complain I am still little kid, what is wrong with it? Are we supposed to act old when we get older? Is that the only way to be respected? I guess so. I ma try to get OLDER. haha.

I think it is. Well, yeah. see the blog later haha

Well, What’s up People

Well, nothing much to say, it is kind of bored now. I don’t know why. It has been a while since the last time I blog.

Some updates.

Class in last semester of Senior Year is not fun. Everything seems like to packed up together and try to kill me as soon as possible. School work is horrible. Hahah. But I don’t know how I still have some free time playing around, watching drama, and pretty much just surf internet indefinite.

Well, the class I don’t like the most is probably Computer Impact of Society. I like all the topics and how we learn Computer impacts on society, but I just don’t like how the professor grade us. It is kinda harsh. But well, I thank him for perfecting us, especially me. I am not good at writing, but writing in his class make me feel like I am actually achieving something. This is similar to how Technical Communication class has taught me.

The most boring class for me now is the Computer Network class. Not entertaining at all. LOL. I guess it is mostly because the stuffs they teach in there are stuffs I already know. It is like a repeating class for me, and it is much easier. I learn it in my Engineering major already. We have gone into much more details about the network and how signal move from one place to another. Boring. Now I can feel and understand why some kid do very poorly on subjects that are too easy for them. I am used to blame those kid for not focusing in easy class, saying that they have done it already. They cannot really focus. The easy stuffs can not grab their attention much.

Computer Arch seems to be my favorite ones because it is really my core class. it is something computer engineer needs to know, and it is fun to learn, even thought the professor (Joshi) is not quite interesting in class. His teaching takes me directly to sleep. Well, I still like the class.

My Senior design so far goes pretty well. Our implementation of the network is forming. But I guess there are still a lot of work needed to be done later. Let’s hope we achieve something.

Digital Signal Processing is already my favorite, but not too much. The theory and concept is fun to learn, but I still don’t quite understand much. I am not doing too badly, but it is ok.

Well, that’s is kinda something about my senior year. Hope everything will be better later.

What US Citizen means to me?

Well, to be honest, i am still very proud to be a Vietnamese born and raised on the Vietnam land. To me, those 13 years i spent in Vietnam is unforgettable. It shaped to who i am now. Yeah maybe i had accent that sound funny. Maybe i didn’t look like what other American in here. Or maybe the way i think is different than people in USA, i am still happy of who i am.

When coming to USA, i felt lonely and separated. I felt like i was separated from the surrounding world around me. I took me quite a while to adapt into this culture, the culture of freedom. I din’t feel really open to other people. There was still something which i kept inside me and not sharing it to anybody. I wasn’t sure it they were my feelings that i didn’t want to share. I just felt i wasn’t fully open.

Then i became US Citizen. Yes, i am now legally a US citizen that can benefit from anything a regular American would benefit from. But also want to show that i am now a member of this culture, and i am learning. I am learning to adapt into this culture.

Thanksgiving trip plan

Thanksgiving is coming, we are coming up with a plan to go around. Anyone with any plan. 😞